Someday's well most day's I feel like I'm getting no where in life. For the past almost 3 year's I have been living (primarily) in this trailor. But yet I have never painted.. nothing. Everything is the same oh wait no it's not the trailor is shittier cause of the animals and alway's having roomate's blah blah blah. I'm still a housewife no more closer to getting a job or even a driver's license. This is not how I want to live my life. But yet this is how it's lived. Right now we have a $ -4.00 bank account cause the hubby doesn't listen to me about managing money. This weekend.. saturday we have $200 in the bank but with eating out.. a couple trip to Giant Eagle (instead of spending an extra 10 min driving to a cheaper store) and a movie. A dvd.. new release of which I could of waited for. He wanted to suprise me but yet I still haven't watched it. I think he's going to have to take it back so we can at least have twenty buck's for the week. And to top it all off I find out he's talking to his boss about our problem's. I use to talk to my mom and maybe a close friend or two about my problem's and I would get bitched out. About how private he like's his business to be.. blah blah blah... and now he's doing this shit to me?n It make's me angry. He's a completely different person now. I know he's trying to change for the better.. but sometime's I think he's "changing" just cause he's realizing that he's looking like a hippocrite. Hopeful having his friend and 3 kid's move out with help our marriage. I figure once there gone this will give us a chance to really work thing's out and there will be no more excuse's as to why it's working or not working out. But only time will tell.

I am willing to stick around to make thing's work. But if WE don't start doing shit right around here than I think I need to go and do thing's right for ME. Instead of "us". I don't know..

Hmm.. it seem's as though all my previous (including this one) posting's has been about my marriage and how much I think that it's not working out. And to be fair to him, he has been trying and being more thoughtful and romantic. I guess I just have to get used to this "new him". Hopefully we'll get everything smoothed over before to long.

Well I better get off here...
Chubbz