So, finally had the chance to talk to the husband about the "magazine's". He agreed to get them out of the house. Here's how the convo went:

ME: so, I packed your dirty magazine's up, they need to find a new home.

HIM: Ok, I'll have dad take them home and put them in the attic, they may be worth money in ten year's from now.

LOL. I thought it was gonna be this long drawn out thing. But I guess not. Even though he agreed without complaint's I still felt the need to explain myself. About how they make me feel insecure, and he said Ok, he understand's. Soo..It went lot's and lot's better than expected. LOL.

Tonight was a great night, when the husband got home from work, he complimented me on my sundress (he's the one that suggested I try to wear sundress's). And he couldn't keep his hand's off of me. LOL. His dad stayed the night with us tonight, so we had to wait to make love til he was asleep. (if not then I just feel really wierd) LOL. We sat out on our deck (back) on our hammock, and talked about thing's. Like money, and loving eachother, and joked around. He also gave me a massage, for like an hour or two which was awesome. And I feel soo good right now. Even though at the moment I'm starting to get tired. Blah!

Umm....Hmmmm......I think that's it. Oh yea, our dog/puppy Brutis we are going to let him roam free around the house tonight! This will be the first time, and soo far he's doing good. But then again I'm still awake. LOL. But he's asleep right now. So, I think I'm going to get off here..finish my show. And then I'm heading off to bed.

Til Next Time Bloggerz..

~chubbz

Today is such a beautiful day out! And I'm stuck inside the house Since I'm the only one home, I really don't have anything to do by myself. Which sucks!

So, I decided to wear my sundress that I bought a long long time ago. And I even did my hair, (most day's I put moose in it and that's it) But I have a hair clip in it. I'm not sure whether or not it look's stupid yet, so I'll see what the husband say's!! I feel so beautiful and pretty today. Even though I know we probably won't go anywhere. (we hardly ever do during the week) Last week the husband actually suprised me, a commercial came on for one of those Cinnamon Melt thing's from Mc.Donald's and I jokingly said "I wan't one, and he was like okay, get your shoe's on, let's go" and I was like "what? ". So that's good.

He also told me that he wanted to do more physical activities, beside's sex..LOL. So, I suggested that we go on walk's, he was like ok. So today I think I may take him up on that offer. I'm really hungry, and there's a wasp in the kitchen. Now I'm petrified of wasp's and bee's. I will do anything to avoid them. Hence..going hungry. Sound's kind of silly right?? Well, I have anxiety's of just being in the same room of them. And I can't help it.
One time a couple of year's ago, I was walking out this backdoor, and the screen slam's when it closes, and appearantly there was a bee's nest right on top, so when it slammed, it upset them. Then *bam* I'm getting stung by ton's of bee's. That's how I developed this fear. So the wasp in the kitchen is really bothering me.

Other news, last night I was on my myspace account, and I got this idea. So..I acted on it. I deleted out ALL of my blog's. I feel that no one (especially his ex) need's to know my husband's and I's business. So, I deleted out my past. The bad thing's that have happened, and the good thing's. Everything. I told my friend's that if they are truelly my friend's then I will not have to post about my life, that if they talk to me frequently..then they will know what's going on. That way, I can shut her out, as much as possible and maybe she'll move on, even though it's been 2 year's and still no chance.

So..that's the whole run-down. I have made some great friend's on here already...and I hope to make more. I can't believe how supportive people are. I am really glad that I chose to do this blog. This has helped me in soo many way's. And everyone, especially Angie has helped me. Thanks guys. Some of you are more closer than friend's that I graduated with. This has been a really great outlet, for emotion's and feelings, that I don't think I would be able to express elsewhere, with any other people.

I truelly thank each and all of you!

Til Next Time Bloggerz

-chubbz

..And it's okay! I finally feel at peace, for quite some time's I have been fighting war's inside myself. As me and Charlie just drove around un-charted land (place's we haven't been to yet) I came to peace with myself. I may not be good enough for Charlie in some people's eye's. I may not be smart enough but dammit I'm me, and that's all I can be. Somewhere between the endless road's and the romantic "I Love You's" I could finally whisper to myself "I Love You" and really mean it.

I'm at peace with not being pregnant yet. I have come to realize that when "baby" come's we will not be able to just pick up and drive un-charted land's with out packing a diaper bag..blah blah blah. Then it wouldn't be random. I have come to see that this time alone will make us stronger for when the baby come's. It's amazing how one long truck ride, a beautiful day, one amazing husband, and two wonderful dog's can help me realize. I'm done with worrying. Whent the time come's the time will come. Then we will be prepared, until then we can be spontaneous, adventurous, crazy, un-careful!! Everything you can't be, when you have the responsibility to look after someone else's life.

I have also decided, that I am going to start a garden pronto! I like the idea, I have alway's wanted to find something to do that give's me an excuse to be outside..LOL. So..here it is. Something that I can be proud of. Even though I don't know, how to garden or anything about it, I'm going to have his mom help me. That way, I get a pretty garden and plus we get some one on one time. So we can "bond".

Today, was a pretty good day all in all. Husband is still fighting me on the whole work thing. I feel good about getting a job, but he doesn't wan't me too...sooo...we shall see what the future hold's for us. I also, changed the palette to this. You Likey?? I likey alot, I even re-did my whole myspace, deleted everything off and started fresh!! Yupperz...today was that good. Now I can't wait for Desperate Housewive's to come on and for the Rib's to get off the smoker!! *yum* My husband is an expert at cooking. Half the time I don't even gotta cook. Which is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I love cooking, but...I'm not too good at it.

Sooo...I think I'm going to get off here...finish Extreme Makeove: Home Edition, watch Desperate Housewive's and maybe get back on..who know's.

Til Next Time Bloggerz

Chubbz

The husband is sitting in the rocking chair watching the history channel. And I'm on the couch typing. LOL. I can't believe that today is sunday already. Time is really flying by. I can't believe that it's almost been a year since I graduated, and It's been a year since I haven't lived at home. Most day's it feel's like just yesterday I met my husband and fell in love. I guess cause the magic is still there. Me and my husband get along soo well, we alway's play argue, wrestle, just have fun. Most people that are around us, look at us like were crazy. And I just say "damn right were crazy, were crazy in Love". You know? And that's what make's the time pass by soo fast. Having fun... Moving on though.

I posted that blog about my friend, and her marriage going in the shitter. And the other day on myspace I posted a blog to her, explaining my side of things, and I regret that I ever said anything. It started so much drama in my life, now her husband hate's me, and this other girl (of which I don't give a rat's ass if she hate's me). But the point is, she took our problem..and made it everyone else's. She took it, and "made her story" about it and tried to get everyone on her side. I really don't care about that, cause I'm not in third grade anymore, I don't need anyone on my side...LOL. But I'm going to post the blog that I posted and her response(s). Ok?? S

So here is what I put up:
TITLE: About us. Friends &husbands..

I sit back and I smile just thinking about everything that me and Charlie has been through. And I realize how lucky we are to have each other at the end of the day. I couldn't possibly see life getting any better (until the day I find out I'm pregnant). I have soo much at such an young age. Sure maybe I had to mature a little quicker than most. But hell, that's my whole life. Growing up, I took care of my mom even though it should be the other way around. I would never take that back. Cause it has shaped and formed me to be the person that I am today. Look where I'm at. I'm at a place in my life where people in their 30's which they could be. There have been obstacle's lot's and lot's of obstacles. There have been people that have tried to get in the way. And in the end, long term it never worked. Cause here we are growing together and stronger than ever. Trust me, 2 year's ago, I never thought that I would be here. Sitting in my own house, watching my own t.v. on my own lap-top, about ready to join my own husband in bed. I never thought that me and Charlie would make it. When we broke up the first time, I thought ok..must move on. Even though I alway's knew he would come back (cause I'm good {in bed} like that.. JK JK) I wasn't sure if I would wan't him back. But I'm glad I took that ride. (as soon as I moved back from Cleveland) I'm glad that he realized how much he missed me as much as I was missing him, I'm glad that he realized what true love was. And here we are. Married and working on having a baby. Some still may not come to term with us, but it doesn't matter, cause we are going to keep doing our thing whether you approve or not. So, we just moved again! *ugh* trust me it sucked ball's. But were never moving again!! (unless it's out of state). We have hope's of buying this place. It just feel's like home for us. It's us!! On to more important issue's swimming in my head..

I was told by someone, that guy's change after living together, but he hasn't changed. Sitting back and thinking about it, maybe your relationship has changed (for the worse) cause of the choices that you make. You choose to hang out with guys to make your husband jealous. You choose to have guy's spend the night when he isn't home. You choose to randomly add new guy's. You choose, to meet new guy's off of the net. Not saying that your a bad person or anything. That's the life that you choose to live. But in my honest opionion. I think that you like the drama, chaos, and arguements. I think that when you add people, (guys) and meet up with them, I think you do it for 2 reasons:

1) to make your husband jealous, to try to pay him back for the thing's he's did to you

2) your looking for something better, your keeping your option's open, your checking to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

I'm not saying who this is directed to, I hope that you don't get mad or upset. This is my honest opionion, as I have been sitting here pondering about it all day. It kind of make's me mad when you compare our marriage's. They are not the same, we don't have the same problem's as you..therefore, we don't have the same future as you. Sorry, but that's how it is, and our relationship will never be like your's for a couple of reasons:

*when we find a problem..we fix is pronto

*we don't hang out with the opposite sex..it just creates un-needed problem's, plus we don't need that attention from them

*we don't really have financial strain..a kid to worry about (yet)

*We don't try to change each other..we accept eachother for who we are, that's why we married eachother. cause we love who eachother are!

There is a couple of reason's why our relationship's aren't the same, I'm not saying there aren't any similarities, but we don't have the outcome either!

I love you as a friend, you are possibly one of my best friends, you have been there no matter what. We have stuck together, plus were both "wive's" and I hope, no I pray that you two work thing's out and that thing's get better. Seriously..I couldn't see you with anyone else..I just don't want you to mess thing's up!! Message or whatever..if you would like to talk about it...cause I would love too...
Buh Byez..
*********************************************************************
And then she posted this message, and when I asked her about it, she said a little part was about me, but wouldn't say what part, but I personally think the whole thing is about me. I'll also be posting what her husband and the other "girl" commented about it:

POST:

Uhmmmm...I've been thinking more and more. How much people change. How they don't understand that I try to help. (INSERT MEAN COMMENT HERE). I treat everyone like GOLD. (sure, i might be mean...but it's only for the best...honestly)...and yet I get SHIT on. No, I am NOT talking about Chad. I'm actually talking about everyone else. People who talk about me behind my back. People who assume things about me. People who use me. I feel like everyone's doctor! haha. People who say....oh no no no...write in a blog that I hangout with guys or whatever "to make Chad jealous" TUH HUH! I like to hangout with guys because I get along with them...MUCH better. Girls are waaaay to bitchy and annoying. You should say that our marriage changed for the worse either. You haven't been with you're man as long as I've been with mine. You also do NOT have a child. Soo...once the time comes for you, you'll be singing a different tune. And as far as our problems go (Chad and I). It pretty much started with how we tried to cut each other off from certain people. (opposite sex). We're ADULTS we should be able to hangout with whoever we want..correct? I completely trust Chad, so i'm not worried about him doing anything with another woman. You'll have to understand that cutting eachother off like that is NOT good...sure for a while it will me ok. But you'll just be up each others asses 24/7 ......sufficating. (but you are right by saying, Chad is out of line trying to change me...i know)

COMMENTS:
Husband: Hells yeah nug nug..to hell with dirty mexicans. lol
FRIEND:
threee:people who talk shyt on ur relationship can just shove it, you two love each OTHER SO MUCH! sure u fight a lot WHO FUCKING CARES!! really , i mean, would you want to go like 3 years without a fight then BOOM!! holding it all in is SO FUCKING UNHEALTHY... daniel and i fight all the time..it will be 4 years on september first..and we are actually doing good for the first time in a while...he's a tard and wont stop talking about how good he "sexed me up" the other day haha..thats love
4:i agree with chad about dirty mexicans...pretty much all of it
fifth: i just want you to kno how proud i am of you, your so young and ur married, inlove and have a BEAUTIFUL papachunk.. and without you guys i wouldnt kno what to do... i love being with you guys... your my best friends

things will get better, you love each other to much for it not to

********************************************************************
So that's the first post...and it really pisses me off the whole "dirty mexican" thing, cause I'm a quarter mexican. And when I told my husband about this he wanted to whoop some ass! LOL. Here is the next post that she posted:

You don't like what I do? Oh, well...i'm not changing for anyone. PERIOD. I"m going to be me! I don't care what people say about me, I don't care if YOU don't think I should be doing something. If I wanna do it, I'll do it. I'm not here to be tamed or have someone give me a guilt trip. You think you're perfect?? ..hardly....You think everyone envys you?!?! hahaha..come on... If I make a mistake...I'll move on. If I get hurt in the process, I'll live...because I've gone through worst. I've gone through it ALL! If you have a problem with the way I choose to live my life...then you need to leave my life! Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Don't tell me what is appropriate and what's not. How would you know? I know I'm not a 1950's house wife/mom. I'm not obedient. I'm not going to do EVERYTHING that I'm told to do....but I'M ME! Don't tell me who to hangout with, or when to hangout with them. Don't tell me NOT to hangout with guys. You have no power over MY life. Don't try to control me and don't try to control my husband! We are NOT you. We are NOT every other couple out there....
:)
(I DID NOT write this because of Chad I lovers him, I wrote this because other people *who will remain nameless* are pissing me off, or HAVE pissed me off)
*********************************************************************

When I asked her if this was mean't for me, she said NO, that it was toward's her sister in Law, but I still feel that this is directed toward's me. Do you think that I was wrong for bringing up the issue's that I did? Do you think that I should of kept my mouth shut, or that she just isn't a good friend. I think she love's drama, and when there is none, then she feel's the need to create it. I need some help on this one, I am seriously thinking about cutting her out of my life. Cause I was honest with her and when I was having with her, and then she post's that shit, and doesn't have the ball's to admit it was to me. I have talked to that "girl" and she said that she never said she hated me, but my so called friend, told me she did. Maybe she's lying maybe my friend is lying I dunno. She also said that it made Iris mad when I said that my marriage is better than her's. I would like to know where in that blog that I posted it said that?? I never said that. And this all began, because she wanted me to meet a guy she had met off myspace, and I told her I was married and wasn't comfortable doing that. Maybe I just lost a good friend, but then again was she really a good friend?? Who know's...so I need some un-bia's opinion's. I have talked to my other friends about this problem but, none of them like eachother and that's no good. Soo... please please help!!

I think that's it for right now...I'm gonna need your help bloggerz...

Til Next Time...
Chubbz

So, I know that I haven't posted anything in a few day's nothing really new here. I did have a long post yesterday about a "friend problem" but then I lost my signal and lost everything *grrr* I was soo pissed. So, updates: I still haven't discussed the whole "magazine issue" cause, well..simply there hasn't been an "appropiate time" not sure there will ever be a such time. Well, Charlie has had some shitty day's with his work life. So..Now just isn't the time. Another update: His paycheck (when I said he'll lose 40 hour's, I was wrong, they are going to put it on the next paycheck..In 2 week's, problem is RENT is due NEXT WEEK, and we won't have enough money!!! But our landlord's are very understanding, so I'm sure they will be fine with it! *thank gawd*. Hmm..I told Charlie I was going to see about a job next week, and he told me to hold off, see how thing's go for a couple of week's that he didn't wan't me to work. So..we'll see about the whole job thing. Um...hmm...I'm actually shocked, I'm the first female that he hasn't asked to work. All the other's it was required to have and keep a job, but NOOO not me. I guess I'm special LOL. But I am also the only one that he married, so that may have something to do with it!!

It's amazing in his last relationship both parties worked, and he made the same amount as now, and they were alway's behind on shit. Now I'm stuck with their debt, cause him being the nice guy that he is, put all the shit in his name. I know this for a fact, cause how many men do you know apply for a fashion bug credit card?? Soo..that suck's,but he's going to file for bankruptcy. That's a good thing, cause once I go to college I gotta take out loan's so it would just be even more debt!! Yup, I have decided that I may be married, but I'm still going to college, so I can make lot's and lot's of money's!!! (yes I said Money's on purpose)

SO the hubby is watching the Discovery, that shit just bore's the hell out of me, he like's History too!! At least he's getting an education and it ain't the playboy channel!! LOL...SOoo...I think I'm gonna get off here...

Oh yea, we bought "the Night at the Muesuem ( I spelled that wrong I think)" and it was a good movie, especially for little kid's my husband even said "that's a cute movie". LOL... I can't even believe it's almost eight thirty PM!! *sheesh* where did time gooo??? Not sure...hmm.. I thought it was like five or six!!??! well..gotta goo

Til Next Time Bloggerz...