So it's raining today..no storming :( I didn't get to swim :(

So the boy's are going back this weekend. I'm kinda bummed but glad that I have spent all this time with them. I just hope that they are happy no matter what! I told them that if they ever wanted to come and live here permantly that the door is alway's open. But they wan't to graduate from their current school. So maybe in a couple of years. We gave one of our puppies to my little brother (even though the puppy isn't so little) I'm kind of relieved but I also feel bad on the same not. I'm torn. But he's too big for me to punish him, and when he get's out it's hard for me to drag him back. He need's more attention than I am able to give him, and more (LOT'S MORE) patience then I have in me. I think he will do alot of good for my brother too, they really like eachother. And hey at least I know he's going to a good home. Couldn't ask for anything better :)

Me and the husband are doing better. We haven't fought in a couple of day's which is really good. I would love to go to the park or library but nothing is in walking distance. So basically I'm screwed right now. We are currently looking into moving to West Virginia. I want to go back to school, and we know a couple of people from there. So we think that may our best bet. So now I'm in the process of house hunting. Then I'm gonna start applying for loan's and stuff like that. So not this year but next year I should be starting school. (when I'm 20 :[) But hey, at least I'm getting there right? That's all that count's. I think it may be better that way anyway's cause we just got a pup not to long ago, so by then he should be fine to leave alone. So I'm gonna be a college girl. In the meantime, I think I'll get a job waitressing or something like that. This will give me something to do.

Saturday his family came down and we had a make up for the 4th. That was nice. Once again my mom had another excuse as to why she couldn't make it. I'm about to just say "fuck her" and give up on it. I'm sick of her being too stuck up, or her being stuck up with her hubby. I think I might just stop talking to her. Anyway's..

Sunday we floated down the river with some people (15 people..well.. 9 kid's and 6 adult's) It was hectic but fun. Plus I got a jump start on my tan. Can't complain about that. We started late in the day ( three o clock) and didn't get done til like 10 and then had a cookout..which made me mad but another bitch another day.. LOL So all in all I had a blast.

Today I feel so tired and drained and I don't know why. I think I may take a nap when I get off of here. Since I have gained soo much weight in the past year from not doing anything. I think that I'm gonna do something about it. The husband suggested that I try that nutrisystem food. I think I might give it a whirl. Just to see how it tastes. I wen't to their website and they have a whole list of shit that I can order. So I think I might try it. I'm just afraid of buying a month's worth of food and it tastes like shit. You know what I mean?? I am also gonna start excercising. And get healthier. I need to. I think that may be one of the reason's that I feel tired all the time. So I don't know...

Well I think that I bored you enough..I think that I'm gonna get off here and take a nap!!!

Til Next Time Bloggerz..
Chubbz

Here lately DH has really been testing my patience. I really hate it on his day's off that he clean's. Or even when he come's home from work. It really anger's and hurt's me at the same time. I have tried explaining this to him a couple of time's but he still doesn't get or choose's to ignore my feeling's either way..it anger's me more and more. I hate it when he come's home and clean's (after I already cleaned). It make's me feel like I don't do a good enough job. And when I ask him this he tell's me it's not that, that he like's to help to. It hurt's my feeling's cause once again it's like he doesn't even acknoledge that I worked my ass to please him. And yet it doesn't work.

At this point in my life I'm so unhappy it's not funny. I don't know what to do. My relationship has become nothing but little argument's and pissed off mood's. I don't know what to do. Not only that his ex still won't leave me alone. I'm sick of, as if we didn't have enough problem's already?!?!

I just wan't everything to be good again. Why isn't it good? I don't get it. I try to make him happy and he tries to make me happy but so far no luck. It worked well at the beggining, but..I don't know.

I think that thing's will be different when I make some friend's and actually get out of the house, and have people to talk to.. I dunnoo...

Well I'm gonna get off here..and CLEAN and force the husband to sit down drink beer and watch tv..LOL

Til next time bloggerz..

*Chubbz*

So I know I haven't really posted anything lately, but I've been enjoying the time that I get with my brother's. Let me tell you time is going by so fast unfortunately. My little brother is taking one of our puppie's (even though he doesn't look like a pup, he's 6 month's old and is bigger than our full grown boxer). He's just too big. And I don't have the patience. Our pup really like's my lil brother so it work's out pretty well :) Hmm..

I broke tie's with a very negative friend. All of the sudden she got this attitude, thinking that she was better than everyone else. And that really make's me mad. I'm not jealous or anything, I just can't stand stuck up people. She changed majorly and I didn't really get along with that person..so, it sucked at the time, but I'm better now. Which is good.

Tommorrow we are having a cook out, but only his family are coming down. I don't talk to my dad and my mom keep's making excuse's as to why she can't come and visit me, so I really haven't talked to her lately. It just suck's cause I see how much the hubby's family does for him and how often they visit and I wish that it would or could be the same way for me, but I guess not.

Our boxer is sick, there's like and affection or something in her mouth so I gotta take her to the vet's today. I just gotta wait for my ride (cause I don't drive yet). I hope that they get here soon. Um...the dog's are going crazy so I gotta hop off here...uh..I'll be on later to post more...

Til Next Time Bloggerz..
Chubbz

So my brother's came down to visit me, and stay at my house for a while. Which put's a smile on my face. See when my mom married her current husband, my brother's remained living with their dad, so I didn't really get to see them as much as I would of liked to, due to the fact that we live in 2 different state's and school vacation's were a couple day's off. So that sucked majorly. But I'm glad now that I get time all to myself with them. Tommorrow me and the husband are going to buy them a set of bunkbed's, and a dresser so they feel like home. We have a room or will have a room set up for them. Usually it's the husband's room (which mean's it's full of shit I don't wan't to see) LOL. But it's a guy's room. So I'm kind of happy.

My last post, I can't believed that I typed it. But I feel so much better, to finally get it off of my chest, you know? I never admitted that before, and it's like I released a secret. It's good that I talked about it. I know that deep down, I would never be able to leave him, I love him so much. Sometime's it 's just hard, but I'm sure most of you understand that.

I'm a little ticked at my mom though. She want's my brother's to come and stay with her, but their a little reluctant due to my mom's living condition's. For reason's unknown to me, when my mom's lease was up for her house. Her and her husband decided to buy a camper and park it in his mom's driveway and live in it "temporarily". I don't understand it. Why would you wan't to live in your mother-in-law's drive way? I don't get it. And my brother's don't wan't to sit in a little camper all day with nothing to do seriously?!?! I just don't understand some people..you know?

I don't know if any of you believe in or experience deja vu, but it seem's here lately I've been having lot's of them. I'm not sure why. It's wierd and really starting to creep me out. I'm also thinking about going and seeing a head doctor. I think I have OCD with the thought of my getting murdered. I have nightmares every night, and every time I'm thinking, I think of how the "murderer" is going to get me and how I will "try" to escape at the location that I'm at. It scare's the hell out of me. I don't know what to do. I think it may be one of my greatest fear's. I don't know, it's late, I'm up alone, and I don't wan't to really type about it anymore...

Well I think that I may be done rambling now..So I think I may get off here crawl into bed and snuggle up next to the hubby...

nighty nite bloggers..
Chubbz